Wednesday, October 31, 2012

We Make The Hipsters Fall in Love

Welp. Happy Halloween, ya filthy animals.

Last night we were in a rush to find something for Taylor to be for Halloween.
I threw out cheesy ideas like,

"We could draw a P on your shirt and give you a black eye.. and you could go as a Black Eyed Pea!!"
Shot down.
"You could go as a 3-hole-punch version of yourself!"
Shot down.
"You could go as a nerd?"
Shot down. Apparently he already is one.

As I was rapidly running out of ideas I snagged a pair of my jeans and handed them to him and said,
"Try these on"

And in that quiet moment

a hipster was born.


Its kind of a funny thing when you dress up as a hipster for Halloween in jest and then actually run into real hipsters in Downtown Salt Lake.

The funniest part for me about this particular ensemble is that every part of his costume came from my wardrobe. Except his blue vans (not pictured) That is my hobo hat and plaid shirt (gingham, actually) and my black shirt (turned inside out) and my apple sticker from my iPhone, and MY JEANS, my eyeliner (hipstache) and my prescription glasses.

Even funnier is that I wore nearly that same outfit yesterday. Want me to prove it? scroll down.

His friends and coworkers got a pretty big kick outta him at work today. They always make fun of him for having the latest and greatest apple products and being obsessed with computers.

He showed them!

And as for me?

Do you remember what I said about waking up in the morning looking like P. Diddy?
 If you buy your glitter in a parmesan cheese shaker... youuuu might be Ke$ha.
 My nails were totes fab. I painted them with silver sparkly and then used my glitter shaker to sprinkle glitter on the wet polish. I finished it with a dab of mod podge 
(yes, MOD podge. not modge podge like everyone thinks it is) 
and off I went!
It works really well if you never need to wash your hands or do anything practical.
I can tell you this much, between the ridiculous fingernails and 8 rings she usually wears.. this chick is not a knitter.
 I'll let you know how long my scalp stays fabulous.
you know what they say,

Goodnight then!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The one where I tell you I'm a total wreck.

Yesterday in yoga while we were in Balasana
(or vuh-LAHS-nah, (how I thought it was pronouced til moments ago when I looked it up) aka Child's pose), 
Ariel came by with her essential oils. She said, "Today we'll be using a combination of Melissa, sandalwood, (insert other fragrances here, etc, etc) It is really great for relieving depression and anxiety"

"That's perfect!" I said mostly to my yoga mat
and my mom said,
"What? Why? You're not depressed!"
to which I flatly responded,
"Yeah I am, I cry every single day."
She probably thought I was kidding...
until I never said just kidding.
She reconnected with her center or whatever with what seemed like a sigh of defeat.
I reassured her that my doctor just called in a new birth control prescription for me and that I'd be back to sunshine and roses in no time.

But guys. It's true.

I don't post very often but I thought I would post about this. Its a pretty serious thing.

Most of my life I've been the shiz. I've genuinely considered myself to be awesome, amazing, fabulous, talented, brilliant, unique, beautiful, and downright hilarious.

I am a confident, beautiful young woman,
but lately, I have been feeling absolutely worthless.

Some days I just shed a few tears here and there,
but other days
I literally break down.

I've gotten so sad that I get angry and I shake.
Sometimes I have to hold myself so tightly to keep me from scratching myself.

I usually cry over the same things.
How I can never get anything done on time,
how I failed my math test,
how I don't have any friends,
how I hate people I don't even know,
how I am too quick to judge people
how I hate people who have anything in common with me
how I hate people who steal my ideas or listen to the same music I listen to
how I can't keep my house clean
how my teeth are probably going to rot out of my head because I can't afford to get my temporary fillings taken care of,
and how I can never lose those last 10 lbs
and how I'll never have the will power to be beautiful
and how I never feel like being intimate
and how I have to do my church calling all on my own
and how I have too many projects going on
and how I never finish anything
and how I can't have a normal conversation with people
and how I hate talking to people on the phone
and how we'll never be able to afford to start a family or live in a house.
and this:
(I don't know if you've ever spent an hour or so with me, but I'm kind of good at everything. Apparently everything except constructing a half-decent pie crust. I'm so ashamed.)

and how I know its all because of my birth control pills and I can't do anything about it.

I'm on Sprintec. Its $9 at Walmart. But that doesn't matter. Because everyone's body is different and what ruins me might be amazing for you.

So yesterday before yoga I finally had an excuse to go see a doctor. I called around to see who could offer me the cheapest office visit (since I don't have insurance) and ended up at The Salt Lake Regional Women's Center. The total for my visit was $74, and she called in a scrip for a different birth control pill. She also said she would fill out a form for me to see if I could qualify for a free Mirena (low-hormone IUD) I make a little bit too much money, but she said that they might do it anyway. Honestly the IUD scares me, but right now I scare me too..

So Taylor and I have been talking about when we should start a family. We are both not 100% sure we are ready yet, but are definitely considering our options. Its kind of funny when you make plans for a baby because sometimes you have to block out time in your schedule or pencil it in so to speak.

For example, getting pregnant in the spring of 2015 when Taylor graduates from the U would be perfect! I could still shoot weddings in the summer and my huge belly would keep me warm in the winter! Win win!

But 2015?? That is SO FAR away! That's the year I turn 23! I'll be so old then!

Ideally we'd like to have all our children before I turn 30.
This might disturb you, but I have a baby chart I made that is 10 years long and it indicates when I should get pregnant and when I'll have each baby and how many we can fit in before I'm 30 while still keeping them evenly spaced.

Am I insane? Possibly.

So where am I at today? I'm 4 pills into my last pack of Sprintec. I would just go ahead and start my new pack, but I already spent $9 on this one and it WILL NOT go to waste!
That's two Jambas! or 9 cans of green beans (my favorite!)
and the new pills are $22.88. ouch.

So that's all I have for you.

I'm gonna download Plants vs. Zombies for free today and test out my halloween makeup for tomorrow.

And also? I went blonde last week, and today I got a mystic.
Check me out!
My tan hasn't fully developed yet. I got it at 5, and its only 9 right now.
But I'll probably wake up in the morning looking like P. Diddy.

Goodnight then!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

RubySnap and Seahorses

Once upon a time
a girl named Tab
and a girl named Bethany had an adventure.

They woke up early in the morning on a Saturday
(about noon)
and stepped out into the city to explore!

Despite the total absence of a muffler,
they hopped into Bethany's sick, sick ride
and tore off into the sunset.

Actually
I lied

it was overcast.

They parked along the street in front of RubySnap cookies,
and scurried toward the door as anxious grins spread over their faces.

BEHOLD
the handsomest,
fattest,
most sassiest cookies they'd ever seen.
 Tab ordered a 
Zoey - "Blueberry lemon poppy with a fresh-squeezed lemon glaze. Best eaten upside-down!"
 and paired it with an
Audrey - "Almond dough packed full of adoration, almonds, cranberries and white chocolate.

and Bethany ordered a
Frida - "Mole dough with a chile de arbol ganache center. Topped with cinnamon-toasted pepitas. Arriba!"
and paired it with a
Lilly - "She's so silly! A lemon sugar cookie with lemonheads and lemon glaze. Fans love her!"
At first they couldn't believe their eyes! 
What puffy little monster babies! 
They gazed lovingly at these handsome creations and were instantly mesmerized by their complex combination of fantastic + wonderful.
After their bellies were sufficiently stoked, 
they packed up their crumbs and drove out to the seahorse

and instantly a model was born!!
I proudly present to you,
by Tab.
Then they slayed the toothy beast
and lived happily ever after!
(but not together, cause it's not like that)

Moral of the story?

Let's go adventuring!
I'll bring my camera.

Oh also?
Clue 2
(view clue 1 here)