Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Literally Itchin'

Here's what's getting me through it all today.

I'm working on Kylie's wedding pictures and developing a sweet new logo for my business.
I'll share all that glory when I can make up my stinkin' mind.

We're going to the Bountiful temple tonight with the Grows.
Pretty excited about it :)

Enjoy your Tuesday.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

His and Her Q&A round two

Hey followers slash random stalkers who found my silly little misfit blog. This is me making an effort to be more social and to do mushy mushy stuff with what's-his-face over there.

I had to interrupt his thrilling game of Just Cause 2 and beg him to play along.

Make sure to get obsessed with Love the Grows and We and Serendipity for making this questionnaire lovebaby each Sunday so you can get a look-sy into how me and my darlingface do our thing.
Not like that.

What is your fondest memory as a child?
His: "Dinosaur Land in Vernal."
Her: Running around in the sprinklers with Bonsai, our gigantic Akita Malamute mix dog. He had a big spot on his back and was taller than I was. I don't really like dogs, but there was something special about that one.

When did you first know you were going to marry your spouse (or fiance)? 
His: "January."
Her: Taylor came over to my house one night after school and I was having a hard time. My dumb beta James Franco wouldn't eat any of the food I gave him and I tore a giant hole in my favorite black skinny cords and I didn't have any other clean pants. I had a bright red shirt on and I had to wear green sweatpants from walmart. I looked like a sad representation of Santa Claus. I was also dealing with some serious cramps and I just wanted to cry. Taylor came upstairs and just hugged me. He didn't care that my clothes didn't match or that I was grouchy, he just held me still. We spent most of the night laying on my bed. He gave me a gentle tummy massage and we talked. It started getting late and he finally asked me, "So... are we playing for keeps or just for fun?" and after I beat around the bush for awhile we agreed that we were in love and made our first real plan to get married. We talked money, and timing, and a wedding... all around 3AM in the morning. I love that boy.

What is your guilty pleasure?
His: "Skrillex"
Her: "The Dixie Chicks.

What is your favorite television show?
His: "I don't really watch TV.. I guess that Glades show is okay"
Her: "How I Met Your Mother. Can't even elaborate on how much time I lost watching that."

What is your most embarrassing moment?
His: "That awkward moment when I realized the woman in my arms was not my wife."
Ahahaha, yup. He likes to touch my friends. Out in public. Mine is probably when I had to audition to be in a local play at Draper Historical Theater and I had to do an impression of The Rolling Stones singing happy birthday. I wore AC/DC t-shirts but had never listened to the stones. I pranced around the stage strumming a fake guitar while my best friend (who was less cool than me at the time) literally felt sorry for me.

If you had 24 hours left to live, what would you do and why?
His: "I would send out a mass chain e-mail that said if they didn't send it to 10 of their friends that I would die. Or I would spend it with my family."
Her: I am imagining a happy place with duvets and cats everywhere. Listening to that song Blood by the Middle East. and then maybe walk through one of those automatic car washes with the giant tentacles and face-rattling blowers. and then have Texas Roadhouse for dinner with my darling.

Who is your celebrity role model and why?
His: "I detest the fact that our society likes/has celebrities. And you know that's true."
Her: Lindsey Lohan. She's been through so much.

What does your dream vacation look like?
His: "Probably a European tour. So I getta see all the neat stuff in Europe. London, Paris, Rome.. It would be historical and nerdy. You would hate it."
Her: Honestly? I'd love to go back to Hawaii. They have these hot molten coconut pies at McDonald's that I would kill to get to eat again. I feel like they are called Haupia? or something like that. So good. and its Hawaii. I mean really.

If you had $1,000,000 and you HAD to spend it, what would you do with it?
His: "I'd buy a house. and a computer. and three monitors. and a car. And that's all.
Her: If we already had a house.. I would buy a smaller house that I could keep cats in. It would be a playland for them and they would love it and I would go in there to play with them and I would be like, their queen, y'know? and they would all love me and purr and stuff and Taylor wouldn't have to be allergic and stuff. Or I would find a way to make Taylor not allergic. 

What did you do on your favorite date with one another? 
His: "Texas Roadhouse. and movie night... at home"
Her: Our whole honeymoon felt like one big giant wonderful date. I loved every part of it. We went to San Fran and just did whatever we wanted. It was so good.

Now you!
1. Finagle that turquoise picture up there onto your post by stealing the HTML from Love the Grows or We and Serendipity.
2. Tell everyone the link-up is hosted by We and Serendipity and Love the Grows and link back!
3. Copy and paste these questions.
4. Once you've published your post, click the link button at the bottom of one of their blogs so others can read your answers.
5. Read everyone elses answers that have linked up.
6. Go back there next Sunday and do it all over again.

and PS:
I wasn't wearing pants during any of this. Not even the photo. Goodnight then!

Thursday, July 26, 2012


Today Taylor was being very immature and mimicking everything I said and did.

Right up until I punched myself in the crotch.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012


Oh, and if anyone was curious-

I simply cannot successfully hard-boil an egg.

It has been proven
time and time again.

I consider it my biggest flaw.

This is a really humbling experience for me.
Goodnight then.

Crazy Diet

hot stuff and I are doing this crazy diet thanks to Bethany.
She sent me a link via FB the other day saying she was going to try it.

It looked like a total gimmick.
I shared it with Taylor to see what his take on it was...
and shockingly?
He said it didn't look that unhealthy.
Coming from the world's biggest skeptic..

Give it a looksy and see for yourself!

Basically.. It made me chow down an entire can of tuna for lunch.
Not too bad..
it was the halfa grapefruit I had for breakfast made me want to cry.

But other than that it's been pretty decent.
Here's what our dinner looked like:

Eh? Pretty ENORMOUS, right?
Featuring, just one small pink lady apple, half a banana, a cup of green beans and 3 oz of MOUTHWATERING peppered turkey we got from Harmon's yesterday.

I didn't photograph the entire cup of ice cream we had afterward.
(Following the diet strictly, of course!)

I just finished tuppering up tomorrow's cottage cheese and hard-boiling some eggs.
Party on, I guess. I'll let you know if I'm magically 10lbs lighter by Friday.

If it does happen, you ask?
Then you'll get a really hot photo of me in my fruity pebbles tankini at Lava Hot Springs with The Grows.

(everytime I do that.. that linking thing, I feel like I'm name-dropping. "Ohh and this famous linked up person or thing I know.. yeah. I'm such a boss.")

On a completely unrelated note, I finished my free-form basket last night.
Underwater basket-weaving on the couch in my pajamas. Life is good.

Monday, July 23, 2012

My Hipster Music

I'm really struggling here to come up with a cute way to say I'd like to post some songs I like every once in awhile.
"Tunes-day Tuesday*" is the closest I can get and it already makes me want to lay in the street.

Basically, I'd love to share some of the songs I enjoy with you in a non-threatening manner.
This won't have a schedule, or much structure, so don't get your hopes up 
you seven followers you.

I digress.

Tonight's piece of work is by that band you love, Young The Giant.

My first exposure to them was long, long ago when I was dating that Canadian who sold adderall out of his pickup. I was kickin' back on a nylon folding chair in the dirt. Beside me was a big, cliche saguaro, and my Droid Eris. I was listening to Pandora and Last.fm under the hot Arizona sun, and that's when My Body came on. Catchy, right?

So that's the story. The story of how I listened to Young The Giant way before it was cool**.

Lately I've been in love with this particular number of theirs. Its slow and soulful and I love it.

This is my favorite song today.

Typhoon - Young The Giant

*No offense if that's what you call it. You're great :)

**I'm sure it was cool before I listened to it. It just wasn't cool enough for the radio until I started listening to it. That's how these things go.

So there ya go. Give this one a few listens while you still can.
I mean,
before they beat it like a dead horse through those vicious airwaves on the radio like a trillion times.

His and Her Q&A

What will your firstborn daughters name be? 
His: "Veronica. Named after my MacBook Air"
Mine: Or Violet. Not named after that laptop he tucks into bed every night. OUR BED.

What is your biggest shopping pet peeve? 
His: "People. Or people who take a full cart through the self check-out. But mostly just people."
Mine: I agree with people. And the 13 and 14 year olds at the mall who got dropped off by their parents so they could loiter around in their "makin' a statement" T-shirts and oddly colored jeans RIGHT IN MY WAY.

If you could have any single superpower what would it be and why?
His: "I'd take teleportation. Because commuting sucks. And then I could work at Jimmy John's. And it would be just like in the commercials. Or I'd take a laser cannon for a hand like Mega Man."
Mine: I'd like to time travel. Forward, backward, pause, all of it! Or the power to somehow re-watch my dreams.

If you got a life-supply subscription to any magazine what magazine would you choose?
His: "Maxim. Or Playboy, or Hustler. No, don't put that, don't put that, don't put that. No NO NO NO NO No.. (whining... and finally..) Game Informer. Or..... Wired, or something. I don't really read magazines."
Mine: Interweave Knits. Love that magazine. There's also a certain european photography magazine that I love that costs a million euros.

What was your favorite subject in elementary school (recess and lunch don't count)?
His: History.
Mine: English.

You just scored $5. What do you spend it on?
His: "Games or electronics."
Mine: "Yarn. Boring things, doodles" (as he says) Truth is, I would never buy $5 yarn. if its that cheap its probably acrylic. $5 would buy me a Jamba with granola in it :)

What were your thoughts when you first met your other half?
His: "That is the woman... I am going to marry."
Mine: Pretty sure that^ was a lie.. He only remembers vaguely seeing me... and I was 12. Hardly even a woman. I wondered then and now how he could have seen anything through that hair.

If you could punch a company/business in the face who would you want to punch?
His: "Can I list a non-profit? Just Kidding. I hate HP pretty bad.. But if I could list a non-profit, it would definitely be PETA.
Mine: Basically any company who uses Scriptina in their logo.

Favorite classic Disney princess?
His: "Belle"
Mine: Marie! (the little white cat in Aristocats.)

If you could reincarnate into any animal after you die what animal would you want to be?
His: "I would probably be a bear or a shark, so I could eat anyone who chose to reincarnate as one of God's lesser creatures."
Mine: I'd be one of God's lesser creatures. A cat. So I could lick myself and sleep all day.

Twisting His Arm

My friends Bethany and Amanda teamed together to make a newlywed's Q&A thing.
They tell me I'm supposed to answer the same questions and make a post about it and be cute and stuff.
I read the questions and I'm thinkin, "Sure!"
Its not totally my genre, but.. if I can trick Taylor into it, it'll probably be good.

So I asked him through google chat here at work.
I explained that it will be short and painless and that ours will be the funniest.
Thanks dear.

Stay tuned for the show tonight, folks.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Mushy Stuff

My mom got me this book for my birthday.
Thus commencing,

10 ReAsOnS I LoVe My MoM!!!!!11~
hahahah that^ was a joke. I promise I would never make anything cyan.

not kidding about this though.

10. You saw it. That picture up there! DH as they say
(which, for the longest time I thought stood for "Dead Husband" and felt bad for the insane amount of women on Ravelry with late husbands... Today I learned it actually means Dear/Darling Husband. And frankly I think its the stupidest thing ever.) 
Taylor as I say, is horrifically allergic. His reactions are pretty regular, the horror lies in the fact that my biggest ally, Felis Cattus, (the entire cat species, for those of you who don't know latin), can never dwell in my dwelling.
My thoughts? If I knit all sixteen of these easy-to-follow patterns for Frisky Felines,
then maybe
just maybe
he'll cave.

9. She made all of this happen:
That's my cute family!! My parents, my brothers, my sister, and my husband. These are the dearest people to me. (Save the individual I saved for number 8)
I have the best dad. I thank her for marrying the guy. He's my biggest fan and he would do anything for me. What more could I ask for in a dad? Not much. Did I mention he makes the best english toffee, pie crust cookies, and STEAK?
I love all my brothers, even my punk ginger drop-out brother who turned his life around, got his GED and is actually going somewhere - You told us so, dude.
And I love my sister who pulls off the purple much better than I did.

8. This guy:
This is Nicholas. He's the half-brother I didn't know I had until I was 14.
Now? Now I'm stoked I know him. He's one of my dearest friends and he never fails to make me smile:) This gorgeous man is proof that dumb mistakes you make when you're young don't have to be bad forever. I'm so blessed to have Nicholas in my life.

7. She never tires of my long, drawn-out stories and overreacted drama.

6. She forced me to marry Taylor.
Okay.. not totally true... Taylor and I have been friends since I was 13. He was Xander's best friend (Xander my dear, sweet brother who was killed in a car accident in May 2008) so we saw each other a lot. They were always skipping school and blowing stuff up. Taylor left for his mission 7 months after we lost Xander and I promised I'd write him his whole mission.
I kept that promise, even though my mom kept teasing me, "Oh, when you marry Taylor.." and, "I don't really love the guy you're with right now.. You'd be much happier with Taylor"
My response? "Mom. I can't marry him- he's allergic to cats! and plus, he's like a brother to me"
Well, I told him we could go on dates when he got home.. and when his homecoming was a fortnight away I cleared my dating schedule and dumped all my boyfriends.. and when I saw that handsome, tan, glowing, 60lb lighter version of my best friend something happened... And two months later we were engaged to be married. Thanks Mom :) You were right.

5. She does stuff like this in public.
Yes. that's a paper bag. Yes, that's a public restaurant. What do kids say these days?? oh right.

4.  I can't find the video at the moment, but she lets me ride rolling ottomans down the hallway on my belly when we stay at nice hotels. Yes. She also films the whole thing.

3. She takes me to Cali to see Nicholas and the ocean. and we do just have such a good time :)

2. She laughs at my jokes. This one is huge- my jokes are terrible.
Here's what I tell clients when I am trying to make them laugh.
"When is a door not a door?"
"uhh.. idk when?"
"WHEN ITS AJAR!!!! Bahahahahahaa!!"

1. She's my best friend. I know I throw that word around somewhat loosely, but I'm serious. I had lots of friends in high school and stuff, but most nights, I just wanted to hang with my mom. She's just the best.

And that's where we'll end for today folks. Remember to return your tray tables to the upright position and on behalf of the entire Airline and crew, I'd like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Do enjoy your trip, and remember, you'll be back.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


Last night I had a dream that I found some old baby clothes of mine.

I found a little ruffly lace dress with a peter pan collar.

Instantly I wanted to tell everyone how hipster I was. I was photographing the dresses so I could prove that I liked all this stuff before it was cool.

That I was born a hipster. I was a hipster before being a hipster was cool.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have some issues.

They've simmered down a lot recently because I've tried to have charity instead of hating everyone with anything in common with me.

I have an obsession with being original.

I basically strive to do whatever everyone else isn't doing.

I wear bright red sweaters with CATS on them because no one else does.

and it works. (I assume I do it for attention or something. Individuality, maybe.)

People notice me. They comment.

I sit in my house and knit baby booties.

I spin on my spinning wheel and eat sushi.

I listen to weird, sad music and just LOVE IT.

I enjoy being strange. And the moment everyone else catches up with my strangeness,
I get stranger.

That's just the way it is with me.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

I used to have this saying,

"being _________ is a state of mind."

Usually the word ticklish was what fit in there.

Because when I believed it, it was true.

People could tickle me and I had enough will power to hold completely still and not be affected.

I, Tabitha (Jordan, at the time) was not ticklish.
"I don't know anyone who isn't ticklish!!"

And one last thing,

I love cats.
and I always have. Since day one. I'll find a picture. You'll see.