I just spent the last two days on a cruise ship of responsibility.
I had the unique opportunity to watch six kids, under the age of six.
Lemme tell ya a few things I learned about life.
I don't know if there's any major significant differences between invisible friends and imaginary ones,
or if there's any correlation between thumb-sucking and hard drugs,
but what I do know is this: kids are just adults that are easily subjected to bribing and like to throw things. Especially tantrums.
Cell Phone is to Adults as
Blankie (geekee) is to Children
Watching Pokemon 4 Ever two times in a row doesn't phase them, and eating grass is O.K.
I had the opportunity to get better acquainted with a girl named Elena.
She has a peanut allergy and the most hysterical sense of humor.
My favorite quotes are as follows:
"I have two caterpillars. One turned into a cocoon, and one's dead."
"Ohh!! Darn the cantalope!"
"I have to tell you something thats a secret.... I needa go to the bathroom, but I need help wiping the brown potty-word off my bum..."
When I accepted she said,
"Kay. The code word hello; I'll say hello when I'm done"
Three minutes later,
My second favorite kid was Hailey.
She's petite and sweet and has the daintiest little voice. She pet the cat with me and had the biggest smile. White blonde hair, total cuddler. These are their stories.
Just kidding. But seriously.
"I'm allergic to spiders"
I helped her go to the bathroom and she said,
"I hope I didn't get pee on you."
We looked at the baby frogs together and I was pointing them out in the acquarium so she could see. I offered to stick my hand inside to make them jump but she didn't want me to. I walked out of the room to check on the others when I hear her tiny little body emit the sharpest BLOOD-CURDLING scream.
I booked it back in there and I was like, "Hailey! Hailey! What's wrong??" still screaming she says,
"THE FROGS ARE HOPPING AROU-U-U-U-ND!!!" and she's running toward me, grabbing me and bawling, trying to get up in my arms.
Guess she's allergic to those too.
Other times I'd lose her. All the girls were watching Ponyo and she was outta sight.
and I heard a muted:
"...I'm under hereee!"
I knelt on the floor and lifted up the flap of the couch and underneath was little Hailey... petting the cat.
I love little kids.
And I'm way excited to be a mom,
but I think I'll wait for 2014 or so to play that game.
Y'know, let all my friends catch up :P
Today my parents, Max, and Taylor are at the Draper temple doing Xander's temple work finally.
He never got endowed while he was here, and I'm sure he'll be stoked we finally got around to it.
Their session started at seven, and I wasn't invited.
Taylor said he'd make it up to me and take me sometime this June.
I'd say it was a fair trade-off.
What I'm hoping though, is that my parents didn't eat before they left.
Cause if that's the case, chances are they'll pick me up and take us all to Wingers.
I don't wanna sound too hopeful.
Another thing? I really like that Rebecca Black song.
Yeah, it's annoying, and yeah she's a terrible singer,
but everytime I hear the word "FRIDAY" I can't help but smile.
I don't think I'm the only one, either.
I bet if you weed past all the death threats there's quite a few thousand people who just needed a good laugh.
So thanks, Rebecca, thanks.
I decided today that I really love Fox in Socks.
I almost read it without messing up, and it made me wonder why I haven't memorized it yet.
Wouldn't that be great?
Back in Snow's class we had to memorize a poem.
I memorized The Tyger by William something.
Tyger Tyger burning bright,
in the forests of the night,
It was great. but what if I had just gotten up there and Suessed it up??
The vision is great in my head, but it probably would have been really uncomfortable in real life.
I got an e-mail today.
I won free photography from Bryant wedding photography.
full wedding and reception coverage (a $2800 value!!) all free.
I just have to pay $499 for copyrights.
I may or may not have believed them for one second,
but that's all it took before I found myself here
If they think they can take $2800 from anyone, in return for those photos...
I bet they're really nice people.
The thing that shocks me the most is that allegedly they've been in business for twenty-five years.
Really? a quarter of a century of ripping people off and taking crappy photos??
They're probably really nice though.
I just feel bad.. maybe their portfolio is sorely outdated and they're making beautiful prints now...
Its just so sad. Especially the tacky red gradient and standard script font.
I bet they're great people, just uninformed and grossly misrepresented.